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If you let someone know you appreciate him or her, especially when you're going to disagree, it gets that person's defenses down.

Tara Brach

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Tara Brach
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: May 17
Peace Activist
Psychologist
Teacher
Persons
Person
Defenses
Going
Disagree
Defense
Appreciate
Especially
Gets
Someone

More quotes by Tara Brach

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There is something wonderfully bold and liberating about saying yes to our entire imperfect and messy life.
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People don't behave in angry ways unless they are feeling stressed and conflicted too.
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Meditation is evolution's strategy to bring out our full potential.
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The trance of unworthiness keeps the sweetness of belonging out of reach. The path to the sweetness of belonging, is acceptance - acceptance of ourselves and acceptance of others without judgment.
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Where desire ends up causing suffering is when it fixates.
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The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.
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If I'm judging the attachment, myself, or another person, then I create separation.
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The two wings of mindfulness and kindness will begin to open the heart to more connection with our world.
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With mindfulness training we are able to recognize when we get lost in our mental dramas, and bring a kind and nonreactive presence to the feelings that accompany them.
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There are some things we can't choose, but in being present we can choose how we want to relate to them
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If attachment then carries forward in a way that's not healthy, we need to let it be there without making it wrong and bring as compassionate and honest attention to it as possible. Honor that this is part of being human, but it's important to know when it's getting in the way.
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You can think of spiritual practice as a kind of spiritual re-parenting ... You're offering yourself the two qualities that make up good parenting: understanding - seeing yourself for who you truly are - and relating to what you see with unconditional love.
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I registered the dukkha of self-aversion with such clarity that I knew there was no freedom unless I could love this life without holding back. This didn't mean I was going to ignore my flaws and stop seeking to improve what I could. But in the deepest way, I was not going to fixate on the conclusion that something was wrong with me.
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Managing life from our mental control towers, we have separated ourselves from our bodies and hearts.
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If [kids] get into loving relationships, they're afraid they'll be found wanting, won't have the looks or body shape our culture deems worthy. Many of us feel we're falling short and if we start feeling close to another person, that we'll be found out and rejected.
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I think of desire as the essence that brings forth the whole universe.
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There's healthy attachment, like with a mother and child. It's biologically part of our survival.
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Pain is not wrong. Reacting to pain as wrong initiates the trance of unworthiness. The moment we believe something is wrong, our world shrinks and we lose ourselves in the effort to combat the pain.
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By regarding ourselves with kindness, we begin to dissolve the identity of an isolated, deficient self. This creates the grounds for including others in an unconditionally loving heart.
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We wait for things to be different in order to feel okay with life. As long as we keep attaching our happiness to the external events of our lives, which are ever changing, we’ll always be left waiting for it.
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