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If you let someone know you appreciate him or her, especially when you're going to disagree, it gets that person's defenses down.

Tara Brach

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Tara Brach
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: May 17
Peace Activist
Psychologist
Teacher
Going
Disagree
Defense
Appreciate
Especially
Gets
Someone
Persons
Person
Defenses

More quotes by Tara Brach

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Where desire ends up causing suffering is when it fixates.
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Stopping the endless pursuit of getting somewhere else is the perhaps most beautiful offering we can make to our spirit.
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In the process of deeply accepting our own inner experience, instead of being identified with a story of a limited self, we realize the compassion and wakefulness that is our essence.
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If our hearts are ready for anything, we will spontaneously reach out when others are hurting. Living in an ethical way can attune us to the pain and needs of others, but when our hearts are open and awake, we care instinctively.
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The muscles used to make a smile actually send a biochemical message to our nervous system that it is safe to relax the flight of freeze response.
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When desire for a certain person's attention becomes an I have to have kind of grasping, then identity gets organized around needing that and it becomes very solid and sticky. That causes suffering because we're not inhabiting the fullness of who we are, we're fixated and contracted on life being a certain way.
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We wait for things to be different in order to feel okay with life. As long as we keep attaching our happiness to the external events of our lives, which are ever changing, we’ll always be left waiting for it.
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Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is.
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Even a few moments of offering lovingkindness can reconnect you with the purity of your loving heart.
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I think it's possible to have experiences of love without attachment, but I think part of our conditioning is to grasp at times, especially when there are unmet needs. It's part of our nervous system to hold on to where we think those needs will be met.
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The main thing going on around intimacy is that we've developed a lot of strategies so we'll be a desirable package.
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Even going through the motions is a way of establishing a new relationship with our inner life that is caring and tender, versus one that is judging, distancing or ignoring. This is the beginning of being capable of intimacy with others.
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People don't behave in angry ways unless they are feeling stressed and conflicted too.
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Telling each other the truth and being who we are, and having space for the other person's vulnerability in being who they are, allows us to move in a kind of dance together that's very fluid and graceful.
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By regarding ourselves with kindness, we begin to dissolve the identity of an isolated, deficient self. This creates the grounds for including others in an unconditionally loving heart.
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I think the reason Buddhism and Western psychology are so compatible is that Western psychology helps to identify the stories and the patterns in our personal lives, but what Buddhist awareness training does is it actually allows the person to develop skills to stay in what's going on.
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We can find true refuge within our own hearts and minds-right here, right now, in the midst of our moment-to-momen t lives.
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If our hearts are ready for anything, we are touched by the beauty and poetry and mystery that fill our world.
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There are some things we can't choose, but in being present we can choose how we want to relate to them
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Along with judging myself harshly, I'd also always seen the truth of goodness in me.
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