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By regarding ourselves with kindness, we begin to dissolve the identity of an isolated, deficient self. This creates the grounds for including others in an unconditionally loving heart.

Tara Brach

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Tara Brach
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: May 17
Peace Activist
Psychologist
Teacher
Loving
Kindness
Deficient
Including
Unconditionally
Identity
Dissolve
Begin
Grounds
Others
Regarding
Self
Isolated
Heart
Creates

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Emotions are the interaction of thoughts and of sensations in the body.
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Even going through the motions is a way of establishing a new relationship with our inner life that is caring and tender, versus one that is judging, distancing or ignoring. This is the beginning of being capable of intimacy with others.
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The spiritual path is not a solo endeavor. In fact, the very notion of a self who is trying to free her/ himself is a delusion. We are in it together and the company of spiritual friends helps us realize our interconnectedness.
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In intimate relationships, if we start trying to be more real, it's very scary.
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We can find true refuge within our own hearts and minds-right here, right now, in the midst of our moment-to-momen t lives.
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If there's a demand of being together in a certain way, those expectations and judgements take away from that space and create an edginess and a cramped-ness to the relationship.
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When we put down ideas of what life should be like, we are free to wholeheartedly say yes to our life as it is.
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I think the reason Buddhism and Western psychology are so compatible is that Western psychology helps to identify the stories and the patterns in our personal lives, but what Buddhist awareness training does is it actually allows the person to develop skills to stay in what's going on.
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Pain is not wrong. Reacting to pain as wrong initiates the trance of unworthiness. The moment we believe something is wrong, our world shrinks and we lose ourselves in the effort to combat the pain.
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When we're awake in our bodies and sense, the world comes alive. Wisdom, creativity, and love are discovered as we relax and awaken through our bodies.
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The two wings of mindfulness and kindness will begin to open the heart to more connection with our world.
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If I can forgive the attachment in myself and open to the vulnerability that's underneath it, then rather than fixating on another person to satisfy my need, I'm actually going right to where the needs come from and able to bring a real healing.
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If attachment then carries forward in a way that's not healthy, we need to let it be there without making it wrong and bring as compassionate and honest attention to it as possible. Honor that this is part of being human, but it's important to know when it's getting in the way.
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Meditation is evolution's strategy to bring out our full potential.
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Mindfulness is a pause - the space between stimulus and response: that's where choice lies.
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Everything we love goes. So to be able to grieve that loss, to let go, to have that grief be absolutely full, is the only way to have our heart be full and open.
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The trance of unworthiness keeps the sweetness of belonging out of reach. The path to the sweetness of belonging, is acceptance - acceptance of ourselves and acceptance of others without judgment.
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I knew I could hold myself with that absolute love and compassion.
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Along with judging myself harshly, I'd also always seen the truth of goodness in me.
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We want to be in open, loving communion with each other and our greatest fear is intimacy. That it won't work and we'll be rejected.
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