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If I keep breathing, then I have to keep living, and if I keep living, then I have to keep hurting, and I can't - not like this.

Tabitha Suzuma

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Tabitha Suzuma
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: January 1
Writer
London
England
Tabitha Sayo Victoria Anne Suzuma
Hurting
Breathing
Hurt
Living
Keep
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More quotes by Tabitha Suzuma

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I would give anything to escape myself, Flynn thought, just for a day, just for a minute even. Just to know what it was like to think differently, to feel differently, and to not be me.
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What else could he possibly have done? What choices did he ever have?
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At what point does a fly give up trying to escape through a closed window – do its survival instincts keep it going until it is physically capable of no more, or does it eventually learn after one crash too many that there is no way out? At what point do you decide that enough is enough?
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I might appear confident and chatty, but I spend most of my time laughing at jokes I don't find funny, saying things I don't really mean - because at the end of the day that's what we're all trying to do: fit in, one way or another, desperately trying to pretend we're all the same.
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You cannot undo the past you can only learn to live with it, find some way of making peace with it, and move on.
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How-how can we make it against the whole world?
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But I don't want to be fine, not if it means she's going to let go of my hand not if it means we're going to go back to being polite strangers.
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I mean, at the end of the day, what the hell does it matter who I end up with if it can't be you?
Tabitha Suzuma
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I want to tell her that I can't pull her down. I want to tell her that she has to let go of my hand in order to swim. I want to tell her that she must live her own life. But I sense she already knows that these options are open to her. And that she, too, has made her choice.
Tabitha Suzuma
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Trying to describe my life and feelings to you is like trying to describe coulours to the blind, or music to the deaf. It's simply not possible.
Tabitha Suzuma
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Otherwise I'll fall apart. I'm going to fall apart. I am falling apart.
Tabitha Suzuma
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I don't know when it started - this thing - bit it's growing, muffling me, suffocating me like poison ivy. I grew into it. It grew into me. We blurred at the edges, became an amorphous, seeping, crawling thing.
Tabitha Suzuma
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This is the definition of happiness: a whole day stretching out ahead of me, beautiful in its emptiness and simplicity.
Tabitha Suzuma
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Get through today – you can fall apart tomorrow. Get through tomorrow, you can fall apart the day after . . .
Tabitha Suzuma
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And this is something I must accept - even if, like acid on metal, it is slowly corroding me inside.
Tabitha Suzuma
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Lochie. The boy I once loved. The boy I still love. The boy I will continue to love, even when my part in this world is over too.
Tabitha Suzuma
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Nothing can relieve the pain. Not crying, laughing, screaming, begging. Nothing can change the past.
Tabitha Suzuma
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At what point do you give up - decide enough is enough? There is only one answer really. Never.
Tabitha Suzuma
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If I move, if I speak, if I so much as blink, I'm going to lose this battle.
Tabitha Suzuma
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...and my loneliness, always my loneliness - that airless bubble of despair that is slowing stifling me.
Tabitha Suzuma