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He will think Lochan wasn't loved, but he was, more deeply than most people are in a lifetime.

Tabitha Suzuma

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Tabitha Suzuma
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: January 1
Writer
London
England
Tabitha Sayo Victoria Anne Suzuma
Think
Thinking
People
Deeply
Lifetime
Loved
Wasn

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It's always nice being wanted. Even if it's by the wrong person.
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I would give anything to escape myself, Flynn thought, just for a day, just for a minute even. Just to know what it was like to think differently, to feel differently, and to not be me.
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How-how can we make it against the whole world?
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Even though I'm surrounded by pupils, there is the invisible screen screen between us, and behind the glass wall I am screaming - screaming in my own silence, screaming to be noticed, to be befriended, to be liked.
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I love you in–in every kind of way.’ ‘I feel like that too . . .’ His voice is shocked and raw. ‘It’s – it’s a feeling so big I sometimes think it’s going to swalow me. It’s so strong I feel it could kil me. It keeps growing and I can’t – I don’t know what to do to stop it. But – but we’re not supposed to do this – to love each other like this!
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And this is something I must accept - even if, like acid on metal, it is slowly corroding me inside.
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The sight of such aching beauty would infuse his soul with pain.
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At what point do you give up - decide enough is enough? There is only one answer really. Never.
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He is my soul mate, my fresh air, the reason I look forward to getting up every morning.
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I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you of all people. Throughout my life you were the one person I could turn to. The one person I could always count on to understand. And now that I’ve lost you, I’ve lost everything.
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I want to tell her that I can't pull her down. I want to tell her that she has to let go of my hand in order to swim. I want to tell her that she must live her own life. But I sense she already knows that these options are open to her. And that she, too, has made her choice.
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At what point does a fly give up trying to escape through a closed window – do its survival instincts keep it going until it is physically capable of no more, or does it eventually learn after one crash too many that there is no way out? At what point do you decide that enough is enough?
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Before there was anything, there was Lochan.
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What else could he possibly have done? What choices did he ever have?
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Lochie. The boy I once loved. The boy I still love. The boy I will continue to love, even when my part in this world is over too.
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...and my loneliness, always my loneliness - that airless bubble of despair that is slowing stifling me.
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If I move, if I speak, if I so much as blink, I'm going to lose this battle.
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This is the definition of happiness: a whole day stretching out ahead of me, beautiful in its emptiness and simplicity.
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You cannot undo the past you can only learn to live with it, find some way of making peace with it, and move on.
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Otherwise I'll fall apart. I'm going to fall apart. I am falling apart.
Tabitha Suzuma