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I must say that I am not very genteel and I feel that gentility has a stranglehold: the neatness, the wonderful tidiness, which is so evident everywhere in England is perhaps more dangerous than it would appear on the surface.
Sylvia Plath
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Sylvia Plath
Age: 30 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 27
Died: 1963
Died: February 11
Autobiographer
Diarist
Essayist
Novelist
Poet
Writer
Boston
Massachusetts
Victoria Lucas
Sylvia Plath Hughes
Feels
Everywhere
Would
Surface
Tidiness
England
Stranglehold
Perhaps
Genteel
Dangerous
Gentility
Wonderful
Neatness
Feel
Evident
Must
Appear
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I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am.
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I am what I feel and think and do.
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What I want back is what I was Before the bed, before the knife, Before the brooch-pin and the salve Fixed me in this parenthesis Horses fluent in the wind, A place, a time gone out of mind.
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To look at her, you might not guess that inside she is laughing and crying, at her own stupidities and luckiness, and at the strange enigmatic ways of the world which she will spend lifetime trying to learn and understand.
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I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead I lift my eyes and all is born again.
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I could feel the winter shaking my bones and banging my teeth together.
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Tomorrow I will curse the dawn, but there will be other, earlier nights, and the dawns will be no longer hell laid out in alarms and raw bells and sirens.
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I do not know who I am tonight.
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Now I am silent, hate Up to my neck, Thick, thick. I do not speak.
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A skeptic, I would ask for consistency first of all.
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When they asked me what I wanted to be I said I didn't know.
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The blood of love welled up in my heart with a slow pain.
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because wherever I sat—on the deck of a ship or at a street café in Paris or Bangkok—I would be sitting under the same glass bell jar, stewing in my own sour air.
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This seemed a dreary and wasted life for a girl with fifteen years of straight A's, but I knew that's what marriage was like, because cook and clean and wash was just what Buddy Willard's mother did from morning till night, and she was the wife of a university professor and had been a private school teacher herself.
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Maybe forgetfulness, like a kind snow, should numb and cover them. But they were a part of me. They were my landscape.
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We should meet in another life, we should meet in air, me and you.
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I know the bottom, she says. I know it with my great tap root: It is what you fear. I do not fear it: I have been there.
Sylvia Plath
