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There is a certain clinical satisfaction in seeing just how bad things can get.
Sylvia Plath
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Sylvia Plath
Age: 30 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 27
Died: 1963
Died: February 11
Autobiographer
Diarist
Essayist
Novelist
Poet
Writer
Boston
Massachusetts
Victoria Lucas
Sylvia Plath Hughes
Clinical
Satisfaction
Seeing
Certain
Things
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Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.
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The box is only temporary.
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I am but one more drop in the great sea of matter, defined, with the ability to realize my existence.
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Don't let the wicked city get you down.
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Every day is precious and I feel infinitely sad at this time melting away from me.
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Your room is not your prison. You are.
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I desire the things that will destroy me in the end.
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I need the reality of other people, work, to fulfill myself. Must never become a mere mother and housewife.
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I didn’t want any flowers, I only wanted To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty. How free it is, you have no idea how free—— The peacefulness is so big it dazes you, And it asks nothing, a name tag, a few trinkets. It is what the dead close on, finally I imagine them Shutting their mouths on it, like a Communion tablet.
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I'm happier writing about doctors than I would have been being one.
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A terrible depression yesterday. Visions of my life petering out into a kind of soft-brained stupor from lack of use.
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So much working, reading, thinking, living to do! A lifetime is not long enough.
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I do not fear it: I have been there.
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I am learning peacefulness, lying by myself quietly, as the light lies on these white walls, this bed, these hands. I am nobody I have nothing to do with explosions.
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I feel that very strongly: having been an academic, having been tempted by the invitation to stay on to become a Ph.D., a professor, and all that, one side of me certainly does respect all disciplines, as long as they don't ossify.
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I felt the first man I slept with must be intelligent, so I could respect him.
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In spite of everything, I still have my good old sense of humor.
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Pretty soon, the only doubt in my mind was the precise time and method of committing suicide. The only alternative I could see was an eternity of hell for the rest of my life in a mental hospital, and I was going to use my last ounce of free choice and choose a quick clean ending.
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I wanted to do everything once and for all and be through with it.
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There is more than one good way to drown.
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