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See, the darkness is leaking from the cracks. I cannot contain it. I cannot contain my life.
Sylvia Plath
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Sylvia Plath
Age: 30 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 27
Died: 1963
Died: February 11
Autobiographer
Diarist
Essayist
Novelist
Poet
Writer
Boston
Massachusetts
Victoria Lucas
Sylvia Plath Hughes
Cannot
Life
Leaking
Contain
Cracks
Darkness
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Although, I admit, I desire, Occasionally, some backtalk From the mute sky, I can't honestly complain: A certain minor light may still Lean incandescent Out of kitchen table or chair As if a celestial burning took Possession of the most obtuse objects now and then --
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I, to you, am lost in the gorgeous errors of flesh.
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But when it came right down to it, the skin of my wrist looked so white and defenseless that I couldn't do it.
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And you grit your teeth, despising yourself for your tremulous sensitivity, and wondering how human beings can suffer their individualities to be mercilessly crushed under a machinelike dictatorship, be it of industry, state or organization, all their lives long.
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What I didn't say was that each time I picked up a German dictionary or a German book, the very sight of those dense, black, barbed-wire letters made my mind shut like a clam.
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I wanted to do everything once and for all and be through with it.
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Whenever I'm sad I'm going to die, or so nervous I can't sleep, or in love with somebody I won't be seeing for a week, I slump down just so far and then I say: 'I'll go take a hot bath.
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I could never be a complete scholar or a complete housewife ora completewriter: Imustcombinea little of all, and thereby be imperfect in all.
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And I sit here without identity: faceless. My head aches.
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I am terrified by this dark thing that sleeps in me.
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The blood of love welled up in my heart with a slow pain.
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I am so hungry for a big smashing creative burgeoning burdened love.
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I like people too much or not at all. I've got to go down deep, to fall into people, to really know them.
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If I rest, if I think inward, I go mad.
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What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age.
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