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It was my last act of love (first words to her mother in the hospital after her first major suicide attempt)

Sylvia Plath

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Sylvia Plath
Age: 30 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 27
Died: 1963
Died: February 11
Autobiographer
Diarist
Essayist
Novelist
Poet
Writer
Boston
Massachusetts
Victoria Lucas
Sylvia Plath Hughes
Major
Lasts
Last
Suicidal
Words
Hospital
Mother
Hospitals
Firsts
Attempt
First
Suicide
Love
Majors

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How frail the human heart must be - a mirrored pool of thought.
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Good to know that if I ever need attention all I have to do is die.
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A psychiatrist is the god of our age. But they cost money.
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I have let things slip, a thirty-year~old cargo boat Stubbornly hanging on to my name and address.
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I get into a rut, unable to yank my mind out of it.
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I feel that very strongly: having been an academic, having been tempted by the invitation to stay on to become a Ph.D., a professor, and all that, one side of me certainly does respect all disciplines, as long as they don't ossify.
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There was a beautiful time.
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A fierce brief fusion which dreamers call real, and realists, an illusion an insight like the flight of birds.
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because wherever I sat—on the deck of a ship or at a street café in Paris or Bangkok—I would be sitting under the same glass bell jar, stewing in my own sour air.
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If only I knew what I wanted I could try to see about getting it.
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I tried to speak in a cool, calm way, but the zombie rose up in my throat and choked me off.
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Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.
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I felt like a racehorse in a world without racetracks or a champion college footballer suddenly confronted by Wall Street and a business suit, his days of glory shrunk to a little gold cup on his mantel with a date engraved on it like the date on a tombstone.
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The trouble was, I had been inadequate all along, I simply hadn't thought about it.
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So I kiss him, and there is the great dark sea ahead.
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Whenever I'm sad I'm going to die, or so nervous I can't sleep, or in love with somebody I won't be seeing for a week, I slump down just so far and then I say: 'I'll go take a hot bath.
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This seemed a dreary and wasted life for a girl with fifteen years of straight A's, but I knew that's what marriage was like, because cook and clean and wash was just what Buddy Willard's mother did from morning till night, and she was the wife of a university professor and had been a private school teacher herself.
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How we need another soul to cling to.
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