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Then I thought, No, I broke it myself. I broke it on purpose to pay myself back for being such a heel.

Sylvia Plath

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Sylvia Plath
Age: 30 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 27
Died: 1963
Died: February 11
Autobiographer
Diarist
Essayist
Novelist
Poet
Writer
Boston
Massachusetts
Victoria Lucas
Sylvia Plath Hughes
Broke
Pay
Purpose
Thought
Back
Heel
Heels

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Sometimes I feel so stupid and dull and uncreative that I am amazed when people tell me differently.
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Tomorrow I will curse the dawn, but there will be other, earlier nights, and the dawns will be no longer hell laid out in alarms and raw bells and sirens.
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I am learning peacefulness, lying by myself quietly, as the light lies on these white walls, this bed, these hands. I am nobody I have nothing to do with explosions.
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To annihilate the world by annihilation of oneself is the deluded height of desperate egoism.
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I have never found anybody who could stand to accept the daily demonstrative love I feel in me, and give back as good as I give.
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I felt like a racehorse in a world without racetracks or a champion college footballer suddenly confronted by Wall Street and a business suit, his days of glory shrunk to a little gold cup on his mantel with a date engraved on it like the date on a tombstone.
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You are the one. Solid the spaces lean on, envious. You are the baby in the barn.
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God, it was good to let go, let the tight mask fall off, and the bewildered, chaotic fragments pour out. It was the purge, the catharsis.
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I wanted to be where nobody I knew could ever come.
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I wanted to do everything once and for all and be through with it.
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When they asked some old Roman philosopher or other how he wanted to die, he said he would open his veins in a warm bath. I thought it would be easy, lying in the tup and seeing the redness flower from my wrists, flush after flush through the clear water, till I sank into sleep under a surface gaudy as poppies.
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With that strange knowing that comes over me, like a clairvoyance, I know that I am sure of myself and my enormous and alarmingly timeless love for you which will always be.
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For me, poetry is an evasion of the real job of writing prose.
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I felt like a racehorse in a world without racetracks.
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The silence drew off, baring the pebbles and shells and all the tatty wreckage of my life.
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Talking about my fears to others feeds it.
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Winning or losing an argument, receiving an acceptance or rejection, is no proof of the validity or value of personal identity. One may be wrong, mistaken, or a poor craftsman, or just ignorant - but this is no indication of the true worth of one's total human identity: past, present and future!
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