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I must not be selfless: develop a sense of self. A solidness that can't be attacked.

Sylvia Plath

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Sylvia Plath
Age: 30 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 27
Died: 1963
Died: February 11
Autobiographer
Diarist
Essayist
Novelist
Poet
Writer
Boston
Massachusetts
Victoria Lucas
Sylvia Plath Hughes
Attacked
Selfless
Develop
Sense
Self
Must

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I need more than anything right now what is, of course, most impossible, someone to love me, to be with me at night when I wake up in shuddering horror and fear of the cement tunnels leading down to the shock room, to comfort me with an assurance that no psychiatrist can quite manage to convey.
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I have let things slip, a thirty-year~old cargo boat Stubbornly hanging on to my name and address.
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I couldn’t see the point of getting up. I had nothing to look forward to.
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What I cannot forgive is dishonesty - and no matter what, or how hard, I would rather know the truth of which I today had such a clear & devastating vision from his mouth than hear foul evasions, blurrings and rattiness.
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What did my arms do before they held you?
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The claw of the magnolia, drunk on its own scents, asks nothing of life.
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A psychiatrist is the god of our age. But they cost money.
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In spite of everything, I still have my good old sense of humor.
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So I kiss him, and there is the great dark sea ahead.
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I must get my soul back from you I am killing my flesh without it.
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Beached under the spumy blooms, we lie Sea-sick and fever-dry.
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For me, poetry is an evasion of the real job of writing prose.
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I am flushed and warm. I think I may be enormous, I am so stupidly happy, My wellingtons Squelching and squelching through the beautiful red.
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we walk the plank with strangers.
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So I began to think maybe it was true that when you were married and had children it was like being brainwashed, and afterward you went about as numb as a slave in a totalitarian state.
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But everybody has exactly the same smiling frightened face, with the look that says: I'm important. If you only get to know me, you will see how important I am. Look into my eyes. Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.
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I wonder about all the roads not taken and am moved to quote Frost...but won't. It is sad to be able only to mouth other poets. I want someone to mouth me.
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Talking about my fears to others feeds it.
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Now I am silent, hate Up to my neck, Thick, thick. I do not speak.
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Only I wasn't steering anything, not even myself.
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