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I felt the mask crumple, the great poisonous store of corrosive ashes begin to spew out of my mouth.
Sylvia Plath
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Sylvia Plath
Age: 30 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 27
Died: 1963
Died: February 11
Autobiographer
Diarist
Essayist
Novelist
Poet
Writer
Boston
Massachusetts
Victoria Lucas
Sylvia Plath Hughes
Mouth
Crumple
Mouths
Spew
Begin
Corrosive
Felt
Poisonous
Great
Ashes
Store
Mask
Stores
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I am terrified by this dark thing that sleeps in me.
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Sometimes I feel like I'm not solid. I'm hollow. There's nothing behind my eyes. I'm a negative of a person. All I want is blackness, blackness and silence.
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What is my life for and what am I going to do with it? I don't know and I'm afraid.
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Then I thought, No, I broke it myself. I broke it on purpose to pay myself back for being such a heel.
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I wonder about all the roads not taken and am moved to quote Frost...but won't. It is sad to be able only to mouth other poets. I want someone to mouth me.
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I want to kill myself, to escape from responsiblity, to crawl abjectly back into the womb.
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I lay in that tub on the seventeenth floor of this hotel for-women-only, high up over the jazz and push of New York, for near unto an hour, and I felt myself growing pure again. I don't believe in baptism or the waters of Jordan or anything like that, but I guess I feel about a hot bath the way those religious people feel about holy water.
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Poetry, I feel, is a tyrannical discipline. You've got to go so far, so fast, in such a small space, that you've got to burn away all the peripherals.
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I used to pray to recover you.
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Not being perfect hurts.
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No day is safe from news of you.
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Every woman adores a Fascist, The boot in the face, the brute Brute heart of a brute like you.
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As I lay on my back in bed staring up at the blank, white ceiling the stillness seemed to grow bigger and bigger until I felt my eardrums would burst with it.
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I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.
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