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Why can’t I try on different lives, like dresses, to see which fits best and is more becoming?

Sylvia Plath

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Sylvia Plath
Age: 30 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 27
Died: 1963
Died: February 11
Autobiographer
Diarist
Essayist
Novelist
Poet
Writer
Boston
Massachusetts
Victoria Lucas
Sylvia Plath Hughes
Trying
Like
Fits
Dresses
Fit
Becoming
Lives
Best
Different

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A skeptic, I would ask for consistency first of all.
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Love, love, I have hung our cave with roses.
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I am what I feel and think and do.
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I want to taste and glory in each day, and never be afraid to experience pain and never shut myself up in a numb core of nonfeeling, or stop questioning and criticizing life and take the easy way out. To learn and think: to think and live to live and learn: this always, with new insight, new understanding, and new love.
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The box is only temporary.
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I desire the things that will destroy me in the end.
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It seemed silly to wash one day when I would only have to wash again the next. It made me tired just to think of it.
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I've got to have something. I want to stop it all, the whole monumental grotesque joke, before it's too late. But writing poems and letters doesn't seem to do much good.
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What I want back is what I was Before the bed, before the knife, Before the brooch-pin and the salve Fixed me in this parenthesis Horses fluent in the wind, A place, a time gone out of mind.
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I felt dull and flat and full of shattered visions.
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I can't think logically about who I am or where I am going. I have been very ecstatic, horribly depressed, shocked, elated, enlightened, and enervated.
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I felt like a racehorse in a world without racetracks.
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I have to live my life, and it is the only one I’ll ever have.
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…beating time along the edge of thought.
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What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age.
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I am dead to them, even though I once flowered.
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