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I felt very still and empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo.
Sylvia Plath
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Sylvia Plath
Age: 30 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 27
Died: 1963
Died: February 11
Autobiographer
Diarist
Essayist
Novelist
Poet
Writer
Boston
Massachusetts
Victoria Lucas
Sylvia Plath Hughes
Way
Eye
Surrounding
Moving
Emptiness
Felt
Feminism
Stills
Classic
Hullabaloo
Still
Chaos
Dully
Feel
Empty
Tornado
Must
Along
Tornadoes
Feels
Middle
Numbness
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The sickness rolled through me in great waves. After each wave it would fade away and leave me limp as a wet leaf and shivering all over and then I would feel it rising up in me again, and the glittering white torture chamber tiles under my feet and over my head and all four sides closed in and squeezed me to pieces.
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I am so hungry for a big smashing creative burgeoning burdened love.
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Outcast on a cold star, unable to feel anything but an awful helpless numbness. I look down into the warm, earthy world. Into a nest of lovers' beds, baby cribs, meal tables, all the solid commerce of life in this earth, and feel apart, enclosed in a wall of glass.
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If I rest, if I think inward, I go mad.
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And you grit your teeth, despising yourself for your tremulous sensitivity, and wondering how human beings can suffer their individualities to be mercilessly crushed under a machinelike dictatorship, be it of industry, state or organization, all their lives long.
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I must not be selfless: develop a sense of self. A solidness that can't be attacked.
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So I began to think maybe it was true that when you were married and had children it was like being brainwashed, and afterward you went about as numb as a slave in a totalitarian state.
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Joy:show joy & enjoy: then others will be joyful.
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My life is a discipline, a prison: I live for my own work, without which I am nothing.
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I must be lean & write & make worlds beside this to live in.
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I need not to be more with others, but to be more & more deeply, richly alone. Recreating worlds.
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Not being perfect hurts.
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I didn't really see why people should look at me. Plenty of people looked queerer than I did.
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