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I have taken a pill to kill The thin Papery feeling.

Sylvia Plath

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Sylvia Plath
Age: 30 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 27
Died: 1963
Died: February 11
Autobiographer
Diarist
Essayist
Novelist
Poet
Writer
Boston
Massachusetts
Victoria Lucas
Sylvia Plath Hughes
Feelings
Pill
Pills
Thin
Kill
Feeling
Taken

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I hurl my heart to halt his pace.
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This seemed a dreary and wasted life for a girl with fifteen years of straight A's, but I knew that's what marriage was like, because cook and clean and wash was just what Buddy Willard's mother did from morning till night, and she was the wife of a university professor and had been a private school teacher herself.
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What is so real as the cry of a child?
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Frustrated? Yes. Why? Because it is impossible for me to be God — or the universal woman-and-man — or anything much. I am what I feel and think and do. I want to express my being as fully as I can because I somewhere picked up the idea that I could justify my being alive that way.
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I find that in a novel I can get more of life, perhaps not such intense life, but certainly more of life than in poetry.
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Dying Is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well.
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To learn and think to think and live to live and learn: this always, with new insight, new understanding, and new love.
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There I went again, building up a glamorous picture of a man who would love me passionately the minute he met me, and all out of a few prosy nothings.
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A psychiatrist is the god of our age. But they cost money.
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Nothing is real except the present, and already, I feel the weight of centuries smothering me. Some girl a hundred years ago once lived as I do. And she is dead. I am the present, but I know I, too, will pass. The high moment, the burning flash, come and are gone, continuous quicksand. And I don’t want to die.
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What a man wants is a mate and what a woman wants is infinite security,’ and, ‘What a man is is an arrow into the future and a what a woman is is the place the arrow shoots off from.
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Why can’t I try on different lives, like dresses, to see which fits best and is more becoming?
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I am flushed and warm. I think I may be enormous, I am so stupidly happy, My wellingtons Squelching and squelching through the beautiful red.
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I want, I think, to be omniscient. I think I would like to call myself the girl who wanted to be God. Yet if I were not in this body where would I be-perhaps I am destined to be classified and qualified. But, oh, I cry out against it.
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I do not know who I am, where I am going - and I am the one who has to decide the answers to these hideous questions.
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I felt the first man I slept with must be intelligent, so I could respect him.
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But writing poems and letters doesn't seem to do much good.
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As a poet I would say everything should be able to come into a poem but I can't put toothbrushes in a poem. I really can't.
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You smile. No, it is not fatal.
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Then I decided I would spend the summer writing a novel. That would fix a lot of people.
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