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Is there no way out of the mind?

Sylvia Plath

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Sylvia Plath
Age: 30 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 27
Died: 1963
Died: February 11
Autobiographer
Diarist
Essayist
Novelist
Poet
Writer
Boston
Massachusetts
Victoria Lucas
Sylvia Plath Hughes
Frustration
Feminism
Classic
Mind
Way

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Ironically, Henry James' biography comforts me & I long to make known to him his posthumous reputation he wrote, in pain, gave all his life (which is more than I could think of doing I have Ted, will have children but few friends) & the critics insulted & mocked him, readers didn't read him.
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I am but one more drop in the great sea of matter, defined, with the ability to realize my existence.
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I've got to have something. I want to stop it all, the whole monumental grotesque joke, before it's too late. But writing poems and letters doesn't seem to do much good.
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I saw the years of my life spaced along a road in the form of telephone poles threaded together by wires. I counted one, two, three... nineteen telephone poles, and then the wires dangled into space, and try as I would, I couldn't see a single pole beyond the nineteenth.
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I knew chemistry would be worse, because I'd seen a big card of the ninety-odd elements hung up in the chemistry lab, and all the perfectly good words like gold and silver and cobalt and aluminum were shortened to ugly abbreviations with different decimal numbers after them.
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Secretly, in studies and attics and schoolrooms all over America, people must be writing.
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Sometimes I feel so stupid and dull and uncreative that I am amazed when people tell me differently.
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I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between.
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Before I give my body, I must give my thoughts, my mind, my dreams.
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Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.
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Doing all the little tricky things it takes to grow up, step by step, into an anxious and unsettling world.
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A psychiatrist is the god of our age. But they cost money.
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I have let things slip, a thirty-year~old cargo boat Stubbornly hanging on to my name and address.
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So I kiss him, and there is the great dark sea ahead.
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