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Mummy’s coming home late tonight. It’ll be just we guys, so we can get drunk and watch porn.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Age: 75
Born: 1948
Born: December 11
Novelist
Writer
Cincinnati
Ohio
Watches
Watch
Late
Coming
Porn
Guy
Mummy
Home
Tonight
Drunk
Guys

More quotes by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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Here’s the life lesson I’ve learned, Fifi: Some people are born to play the hero, and some are born to play the bad guy. Fighting your destiny only makes life harder than it needs to be. Besides, people remember the villain long after they’ve forgotten the hero.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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You can't do extraordinary things in the world if you're spending time criticizing others because they don't look or behave the way you think they should.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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They've drunk everything in the house, including a pitcher of African violet plant food I'd just mixed up and was stupid enough to leave on the counter. Tremaine punched Eddie in the shoulder. I told you it tasted weird. Eddie shrugged. Tasted okay to me.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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There’s no accounting for the mysteries of the human heart
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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He shook his head. The next time I hear a women going on about how neurotic men are, I'm going to remember this. You tell me you like my body, and what do I say? I say, thank you. Then I tell you I like yours and what do I hear? A long lists of grievances.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I'm not living in the shadows anymore. I want to walk in the sun. But I can't do that without you.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Before you lost your mind, how did you make a living? I was a hitman for the Mafia. Are you done crying yet? I wasn't crying! And I wish you were a hitman because, if I had money, I'd hire you right this minute to knock yourself off.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Bobby Tom told me he’s not afraid of the Chargers’ defense. Bobby Tom’ll tell you he’s not afraid of nuclear war, so I wouldn’t put too much stock in his opinion.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I'm just very, very slow. I would not make it as a journalist, I've got to tell you. I sweat bullets over every sentence, and sometimes, you know, a day will pass and I've written one paragraph, and I've been at the computer for four hours.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Librarians and romance writers accomplish one mission better than anyone, including English teachers: we create readers for life - and what could be more fulfilling than that?
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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If you want me, you'll have to earn me. And, mister, I don't come cheap.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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No marshmallows. I don't believe this! I'm going to write the president of General Mills! Don't they have any quality control? I'm sure it's just a fluke Doesn't make any difference whether it's a fluke or not. It shouldn't have happened. When a person buys a box of lucky charms he's got expectations
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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She glared at him. You're doing it again. What? That thing that irritates me. Smiling? Yes. That.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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It runs in the family. And don't expect me to be ashamed. Yankees lock away loony relatives, but down here, we prop 'em up on parade floats and march 'em through the middle of town.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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If I told you, you might be forced to lie about it. Not that you aren't really good at it, but why put an old man in that position?
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I don't care how much evidence the state presented. I've never for one moment believed he murdered that waitress.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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[Bobby Tom] finally understood Gracie's function in his life. She was God's joke on him.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Meg! I love you! I want to marry you! That's weird, she said without stopping. Only six weeks ago, you were telling me all about how Lucy broke your heart. I was wrong. Lucy broke my brain.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Make-up? What happened? You look almost female. Thanks. You look almost straight.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Bobby Tom: You're supposed to be my assistant, not a baby-sitter! Gracie: One and the same.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips