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You have a college degree? You can barely talk.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Age: 75
Born: 1948
Born: December 11
Novelist
Writer
Cincinnati
Ohio
Barely
Degree
Degrees
College
Talk

More quotes by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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Fear goes hand-in-hand with artistic creation, and no amount of success will make the fear go away entirely.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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In case you still haven't figured it out, he loves you. Your tiger will be back in the morning, and you can thank me anytime. Now, do I have to paint another picture for you, or do you think you can take it from here by yourself without screwing up?
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Ironic, isn't it, what religion does to people? I guess it's more ironic what people do to religion.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I guess we're oil and water. (Phoebe) I'd say we're more like gasoline and a blowtorch. (Dan)
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Why don't I just hand you my panties and be done with it.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I married a damned cereal killer
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Make-up? What happened? You look almost female. Thanks. You look almost straight.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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ignore the pain, play through it.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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You never get mad,” she said when their server left the table. “Except at me.” “That’s not true,” he said tightly. “Torie can get me going.” “Torie doesn’t count. You were obviously her mother in a previous life.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Just out of curiosity, sweetheart did you ever talk to your doctor about givin' you some tranquilizers?
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Did anybody tell you that you're a few french fries short of a Happy Meal?
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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There’s no accounting for the mysteries of the human heart
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Bobby Tom told me he’s not afraid of the Chargers’ defense. Bobby Tom’ll tell you he’s not afraid of nuclear war, so I wouldn’t put too much stock in his opinion.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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If you want me, you'll have to earn me. And, mister, I don't come cheap.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I take thee... to be my awful wedded husband
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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She reached into the pocket of her dress and threw the small stack of bills at him. They fluttered to the ground like broken dreams. I hope you choke on every penny. Pick that up. She drew back her arm and slapped him as hard as she could.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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The final cover for Heroes Are My Weakness feels exactly right. It reflects the cold, wintry setting of an isolated island off the coast of Maine and the feisty spirit of a heroine who refuses to give up, even when the odds are stacked against her.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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It runs in the family. And don't expect me to be ashamed. Yankees lock away loony relatives, but down here, we prop 'em up on parade floats and march 'em through the middle of town.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Before you lost your mind, how did you make a living? I was a hitman for the Mafia. Are you done crying yet? I wasn't crying! And I wish you were a hitman because, if I had money, I'd hire you right this minute to knock yourself off.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Cal ’s eyes reflected a weird combination of frenzy and fear as he twisted toward his father. “My God! She’s on her way to becoming the most famous physicist in the country, and she’sdumb as a post ! You arenot having your baby in this house! You’re having it at the county hospital!
Susan Elizabeth Phillips