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Did anybody tell you that you're a few french fries short of a Happy Meal?

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: December 11
Novelist
Writer
Cincinnati
Ohio
Happy
Tell
Fries
Meal
Meals
French
Anybody
Short

More quotes by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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Cal ’s eyes reflected a weird combination of frenzy and fear as he twisted toward his father. “My God! She’s on her way to becoming the most famous physicist in the country, and she’sdumb as a post ! You arenot having your baby in this house! You’re having it at the county hospital!
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I think this is the way love feels to people like you and me. Threatening and dangerous. We have to be in control, and love takes that away. People like us… We can't tolerate vulnerability. But despite our best efforts, sooner or later love seems to catch up with us. And then…And then we fall apart.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I married a damned cereal killer
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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This is America. We’re entitled to our opinions.” “Wrong. This is Texas. And my opinion is the only one that counts.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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wouldn't you like to make sure all those millions you give to Uncle Sam went to schools and hospitals instead of nuclear warheads?' As a matter of fact, he would. Playgrounds for big kids, preschool programs to little ones, and mandatory LASIK surgery for NFL refs.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Meg! I love you! I want to marry you! That's weird, she said without stopping. Only six weeks ago, you were telling me all about how Lucy broke your heart. I was wrong. Lucy broke my brain.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Just out of curiosity, sweetheart did you ever talk to your doctor about givin' you some tranquilizers?
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Bobby Tom told me he’s not afraid of the Chargers’ defense. Bobby Tom’ll tell you he’s not afraid of nuclear war, so I wouldn’t put too much stock in his opinion.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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You have a college degree? You can barely talk.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I hate to admit this, but some days hearing about other people's problems actually cheers me up.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I take thee... to be my awful wedded husband
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Writing is hard for everybody except fools.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Try to live with a generous heart. Doing anything else is too hard.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Mummy’s coming home late tonight. It’ll be just we guys, so we can get drunk and watch porn.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Here’s the life lesson I’ve learned, Fifi: Some people are born to play the hero, and some are born to play the bad guy. Fighting your destiny only makes life harder than it needs to be. Besides, people remember the villain long after they’ve forgotten the hero.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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There’s no accounting for the mysteries of the human heart
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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ignore the pain, play through it.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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If you want me, you'll have to earn me. And, mister, I don't come cheap.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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She glared at him. You're doing it again. What? That thing that irritates me. Smiling? Yes. That.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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No marshmallows. I don't believe this! I'm going to write the president of General Mills! Don't they have any quality control? I'm sure it's just a fluke Doesn't make any difference whether it's a fluke or not. It shouldn't have happened. When a person buys a box of lucky charms he's got expectations
Susan Elizabeth Phillips