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[Bobby Tom] finally understood Gracie's function in his life. She was God's joke on him.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: December 11
Novelist
Writer
Cincinnati
Ohio
Bobby
Toms
Joke
Finally
Jokes
Function
Understood
Life

More quotes by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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You lit into me last night. You said what I did was stupid. - That's what my head said. But my heart... My stupid heart... Her voice broke. It was singing.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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So, Beav, tell me about yourself. I'm Blue. Sweetheart, if I had your dubious taste in men, I wouldn't be too happy, either. My name is Blue. Blue Bailey.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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She reached into the pocket of her dress and threw the small stack of bills at him. They fluttered to the ground like broken dreams. I hope you choke on every penny. Pick that up. She drew back her arm and slapped him as hard as she could.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Bobby Tom: You're supposed to be my assistant, not a baby-sitter! Gracie: One and the same.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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No marshmallows. I don't believe this! I'm going to write the president of General Mills! Don't they have any quality control? I'm sure it's just a fluke Doesn't make any difference whether it's a fluke or not. It shouldn't have happened. When a person buys a box of lucky charms he's got expectations
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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He shook his head. The next time I hear a women going on about how neurotic men are, I'm going to remember this. You tell me you like my body, and what do I say? I say, thank you. Then I tell you I like yours and what do I hear? A long lists of grievances.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I married a damned cereal killer
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Ironic, isn't it, what religion does to people? I guess it's more ironic what people do to religion.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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The question is… How did a girl like Annabelle manage to talk a man like you into joining our silly little family party?” Annabelle smiled sweetly. “I promised he could tie me up afterward and spank me.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Before you lost your mind, how did you make a living? I was a hitman for the Mafia. Are you done crying yet? I wasn't crying! And I wish you were a hitman because, if I had money, I'd hire you right this minute to knock yourself off.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Sugar Beth detected the movement and shot him a look that challenged not only his manhood but also his very right to exist on the planet.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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You know that we've got a few problems we need to talk through before we get married. I'm not getting rid of Pooh. See, there you go being antagonistic. Marriage means learning to compromise. I didn't say I wouldn't compromise. I promise to take the ribbon out of her topknot before you walk her.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Thanks to April,” she whispered, “you have the wedding you’ve dreamed about ever since you were a little girl.” Dean’s boom of laughter was one more reason she loved this man with all her heart.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Okay, so I'll admit I'm curious. Big deal. We both know what that leads to. Dead cat.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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They've drunk everything in the house, including a pitcher of African violet plant food I'd just mixed up and was stupid enough to leave on the counter. Tremaine punched Eddie in the shoulder. I told you it tasted weird. Eddie shrugged. Tasted okay to me.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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She glared at him. You're doing it again. What? That thing that irritates me. Smiling? Yes. That.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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My website bulletin board is the place I interact with my readers.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I happen to be immature, undisciplined, and self-centered, pretty much a little boy in a man's body, although I'd appreciate it if you didn't quote me on that. -Bobby Tom
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Mummy’s coming home late tonight. It’ll be just we guys, so we can get drunk and watch porn.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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If I told you, you might be forced to lie about it. Not that you aren't really good at it, but why put an old man in that position?
Susan Elizabeth Phillips