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I married a damned cereal killer

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: December 11
Novelist
Writer
Cincinnati
Ohio
Married
Cereal
Killer
Damned
Killers

More quotes by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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She glared at him. You're doing it again. What? That thing that irritates me. Smiling? Yes. That.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Okay, so I'll admit I'm curious. Big deal. We both know what that leads to. Dead cat.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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There’s no accounting for the mysteries of the human heart
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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You have a college degree? You can barely talk.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I finally figured out that not every crisis can be managed. As much as we want to keep ourselves safe, we can't protect ourselves from everything. If we want to embrace life, we also have to embrace chaos.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Now, now. Southern ladies don’t French-kiss and tell.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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It must be hard being you,” she said. “Mr. Perfect on the outside. Dr. Evil on the inside.” “It’s not that hard. The rest of the world isn’t as insightful as you.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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You never get mad,” she said when their server left the table. “Except at me.” “That’s not true,” he said tightly. “Torie can get me going.” “Torie doesn’t count. You were obviously her mother in a previous life.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Get inside before I spank you in public. There it was again, another of his maddening threats. Did that mean he wouldn't spank her if she did as he said or that he simply planned to spank her in private? She was still mulling over the whole unpleasant concept when he started the truck.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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It runs in the family. And don't expect me to be ashamed. Yankees lock away loony relatives, but down here, we prop 'em up on parade floats and march 'em through the middle of town.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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For a moment he could have sworn he smelled violets, which was very peculiar, since he had no idea what violets smelled like, except somehow he knew they smelled just like Lady Emma.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Phoebe tapped the toe of her sneaker against the dock. “There’s only one good use for a man like Heath Champion.” “Here we go again,” Molly muttered. Phoebe’s lip curled. “Target practice.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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I take thee... to be my awful wedded husband
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Before you lost your mind, how did you make a living? I was a hitman for the Mafia. Are you done crying yet? I wasn't crying! And I wish you were a hitman because, if I had money, I'd hire you right this minute to knock yourself off.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Here’s the life lesson I’ve learned, Fifi: Some people are born to play the hero, and some are born to play the bad guy. Fighting your destiny only makes life harder than it needs to be. Besides, people remember the villain long after they’ve forgotten the hero.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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ignore the pain, play through it.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Celebrate the success of others. High tide floats all ships.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Hey, everybody, Jerry Maguire's here.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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Bobby Tom: You're supposed to be my assistant, not a baby-sitter! Gracie: One and the same.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
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No marshmallows. I don't believe this! I'm going to write the president of General Mills! Don't they have any quality control? I'm sure it's just a fluke Doesn't make any difference whether it's a fluke or not. It shouldn't have happened. When a person buys a box of lucky charms he's got expectations
Susan Elizabeth Phillips