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A widely held, but rarely articulated, belief in our society is that the ideal self is bold, alpha, gregarious. Introversion is viewed somewhere between disappointment and pathology.

Susan Cain

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Susan Cain
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: March 20
Lawyer
Non-Fiction Writer
Writer
Society
Bold
Introversion
Self
Rarely
Articulated
Disappointment
Alphas
Ideal
Alpha
Held
Pathology
Ideals
Gregarious
Somewhere
Viewed
Belief
Widely

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Solitude matters. And for some people it's the air they breathe.
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I use a lot of old-fashioned expressions.
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I'm insatiably curious about human nature.
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Introversion - along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness - is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology.
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But when the group is literally capable of changing our perceptions, and when to stand alone is to activate primitive, powerful, and unconscious feelings of rejection, then the health of these institutions seems far more vulnerable than we think.
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When you go to a football game and someone offers you a beer [...], they're really saying hi, have a glass of extroversion.
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...true self-esteem comes from competence, not the other way around.
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I'm insatiably curious about human nature. I feel very lucky that as a writer I get to learn so much about it just to do my job right.
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There are only a few people out there who can completely overcome their fears, and they all live in Tibet.
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Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Gandhi — all these peopled described themselves as quiet and soft-spoken and even shy. And they all took the spotlight, even though every bone in their bodies was telling them not to.
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Introverts are offered keys to private gardens full of riches. To possess such a key is to tumble like Alice down her rabbit hole. She didn't choose to go to Wonderland - but she made of it an adventure that was fresh and fantastic and very much her own.
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Introverts often work more slowly and deliberately. They like to focus on one task at a time and can have mighty powers of concentration . They're relatively immune to the lures of wealth and fame.
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The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and happiness.
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It's not that there is no small talk...It's that it comes not at the beginning of conversations but at the end...Sensitive people...'enjoy small talk only after they've gone deep' says Strickland. 'When sensitive people are in environments that nurture their authenticity, they laugh and chitchat just as much as anyone else.
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Shyness is inherently uncomfortable introversion is not. The traits do overlap, though psychologists debate to what degree.
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Jealousy is an ugly emotion, but it tells the truth. You mostly envy those who have what you desire.
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We know from myths and fairy tales that there are many different kinds of powers in this world. One child is given a light saber, another a wizard's education. The trick is not to amass all the different kinds of power, but to use well the kind you've been granted.
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College students who tend to study alone learn more over time than those who work in groups.
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We often marvel at how introverted, geeky, kid 'blossom' into secure and happy adults. We liken it to a metamorphosis. However, maybe it's not the children who change but their environments. As adults they get to select the careers, spouses, and social circles that suit them. They don't have to live in whatever culture they'er plunked into.
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In our society, the ideal self is bold, gregarious, and comfortable in the spotlight. We like to think that we value individuality, but mostly we admire the type of individual who’s comfortable putting himself out there.
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