The most functional way to regulate difficult emotions in love relationships is to share them.

When love doesn't work, we hurt. Indeed, “hurt feelings” is a precisely accurate phrase, according to psychologist Naomi Eisenberger of the University of California. Her brain imaging studies show that rejection and exclusion trigger the same circuits in the same part of the brain, the anterior cingulate, as physical pain.

Being the “best you can be” is really only possible when you are deeply connected to another. Splendid isolation is for planets, not people.