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They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Right
Microwaves
Oven
Ovens
Metal
Metals
Supposed
Humor
Funny
Microwave
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Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
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Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
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I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store and said, Give me another ten guppies, I got a lot of calls yesterday.
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The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
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I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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At one point he decided enough was enough.
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I had amnesia once or twice.
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I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
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Is 'tired old cliché' one?
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I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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