Quote

I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Rise
Sun
Wouldn
Humor
Funny
Left
Next
Lighthouse
Night
Forgot

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.
Steven Wright
Image
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
Steven Wright
Image
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven Wright
Image
I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
Steven Wright
Image
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright
Image
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
Steven Wright
Image
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright
Image
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
Steven Wright
Image
There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.
Steven Wright
Image
Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
Steven Wright
Image
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
Image
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Steven Wright
Image
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
Steven Wright
Image
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
Steven Wright
Image
I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
Steven Wright
Image
I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
Steven Wright
Image
My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.
Steven Wright
Image
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
Steven Wright
Image
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Steven Wright