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I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Rise
Sun
Wouldn
Humor
Funny
Left
Next
Lighthouse
Night
Forgot
More quotes by Steven Wright
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
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When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
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A fool and his money are soon partying.
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I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
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Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
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I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
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What do batteries run on?
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I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
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I washed mud off of mud.
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Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
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