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I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Wouldn
Humor
Funny
Left
Next
Lighthouse
Night
Forgot
Rise
Sun

More quotes by Steven Wright

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A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
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I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
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For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
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My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
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If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
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The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
Steven Wright
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Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was Quote so the last thing I said before I died would be Unquote.
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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
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I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
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In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
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Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
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Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
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Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
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