Quote

I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Find
Spring
Like
Cause
Humor
Called
Raking
Causes
Girlfriend
Funny
Leaves
Song
Blow
Away
Sing

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
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I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Steven Wright
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If God dropped acid, would he see people?
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What a nice night for an evening.
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I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright
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Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
Steven Wright
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright
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I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, See, that's how it's done.
Steven Wright
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Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.
Steven Wright
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
Steven Wright
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
Steven Wright
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Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Steven Wright
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There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.
Steven Wright
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My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage.
Steven Wright
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I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
Steven Wright
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
Steven Wright