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I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Song
Blow
Away
Sing
Find
Spring
Like
Cause
Humor
Called
Raking
Causes
Girlfriend
Funny
Leaves
More quotes by Steven Wright
My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
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Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
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Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
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I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
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I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
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Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
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The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
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Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
Steven Wright
