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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
Good
Would
Time
Limbo
Practicing
Spend
Humor
Pretty

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
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I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
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You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.
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Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
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My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.
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Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
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I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
Steven Wright
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When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
Steven Wright
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For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
Steven Wright
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I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
Steven Wright
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
Steven Wright
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I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
Steven Wright