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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Practicing
Spend
Humor
Pretty
Funny
Good
Would
Time
Limbo

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
Steven Wright
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I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
Steven Wright
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Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
Steven Wright
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I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
Steven Wright
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
Steven Wright
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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Steven Wright
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
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I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store and said, Give me another ten guppies, I got a lot of calls yesterday.
Steven Wright
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
Steven Wright
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I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
Steven Wright
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The sky already fell. Now what?
Steven Wright
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
Steven Wright
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They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
Steven Wright
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright
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Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
Steven Wright
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven Wright
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
Steven Wright
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What do batteries run on?
Steven Wright
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Steven Wright
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People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
Steven Wright