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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Practicing
Spend
Humor
Pretty
Funny
Good
Would
Time
Limbo
More quotes by Steven Wright
I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
Steven Wright
At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright
I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
Steven Wright
While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: Do I know you?
Steven Wright
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven Wright
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Steven Wright
Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
Steven Wright
When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
Steven Wright
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Steven Wright
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Steven Wright
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
Steven Wright
I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.
Steven Wright
People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
Steven Wright
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.
Steven Wright
When I was on TV in the '80s, I wasn't thinking, 'There's a 10-year-old kid watching this and in 15 years, he's gonna be doing stuff that was influenced by me.' I was trying to get my five minutes together. So now that those people are comedians and they're influenced by me - it's bizarre.
Steven Wright
