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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Good
Would
Time
Limbo
Practicing
Spend
Humor
Pretty
Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
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I saw a want ad. light housekeeping. They said Here, change this bulb. I said I'll need some friends.
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What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
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The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.
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When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
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Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store and said, Give me another ten guppies, I got a lot of calls yesterday.
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
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What do batteries run on?
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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
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always remember your unique, just like everone else
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I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
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Day One: Still tired from the move.
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When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
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I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
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I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
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The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
Steven Wright