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I washed mud off of mud.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Washed
Mud
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

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A fool and his money are soon partying.
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I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was Quote so the last thing I said before I died would be Unquote.
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I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops
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If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?
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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: Do I know you?
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The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
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If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
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I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
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My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
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If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
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If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
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Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Steven Wright