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I washed mud off of mud.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Washed
Mud
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.
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Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
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I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
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Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
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My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
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I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
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Does fuzzy logic tickle?
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In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.
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I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
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I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright
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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
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I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
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I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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I had amnesia once or twice.
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Steven Wright