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I washed mud off of mud.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Washed
Mud
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
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When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
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I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
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I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
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My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
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George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
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I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
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If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
Steven Wright