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I washed mud off of mud.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Washed
Mud
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Steven Wright
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
Steven Wright
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Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
Steven Wright
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If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Steven Wright
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Steven Wright
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Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Steven Wright
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A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Steven Wright
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The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.
Steven Wright
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I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
Steven Wright
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A fool and his money are soon partying.
Steven Wright
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Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
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So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
Steven Wright
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I saw a close friend of mine the other day. . . . He said, Stephen, why haven't you called me? I said, I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it. He said, How long have you had it? I said, I don't know . . . my calendar has no sevens on it.
Steven Wright
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I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
Steven Wright
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The sign said eight items or less. So I changed my name to Les.
Steven Wright
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Steven Wright
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Steven Wright
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It's a fine night to have an evening.
Steven Wright
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright