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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
Really
Tinsel
Snakes
Mirrors
Humor

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
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When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
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I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
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To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.
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What a nice night for an evening.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
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I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.
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always remember your unique, just like everone else
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All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
Steven Wright
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A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
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My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
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I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.
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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
Steven Wright
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Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
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I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
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If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
Steven Wright