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I had my coat hangers spayed.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Hangers
Coat
Coats
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.
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I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
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The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
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I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
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Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
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My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
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Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
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Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
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I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
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It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
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While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: Do I know you?
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Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
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If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them
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Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
Steven Wright