Quote

The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Falling
Sky
Humor
Funny
Fall
Tipping
Backwards

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright
Image
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright
Image
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Steven Wright
Image
When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
Steven Wright
Image
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Steven Wright
Image
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Steven Wright
Image
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
Steven Wright
Image
Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.
Steven Wright
Image
I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.
Steven Wright
Image
Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
Steven Wright
Image
I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
Steven Wright
Image
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
Image
I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
Steven Wright
Image
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
Steven Wright
Image
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
Image
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
Steven Wright
Image
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
Steven Wright
Image
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Steven Wright
Image
I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
Image
I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
Steven Wright