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The sky already fell. Now what?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
Already
Funny
Fell
Sky

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
Steven Wright
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I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
Steven Wright
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I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
Steven Wright
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At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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I took a baby shower.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
Steven Wright
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I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright
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Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Steven Wright
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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
Steven Wright
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
Steven Wright
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The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
Steven Wright
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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
Steven Wright
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I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
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George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
Steven Wright
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
Steven Wright
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One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
Steven Wright
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Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
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I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven Wright
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I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
Steven Wright