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I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
Told
Narcissus
Everybody
Lane
Funny
Lanes
Mirror
Mirrors
Lovers
Brought

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I had amnesia once or twice.
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George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
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I can't stop thinking like this.
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My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
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I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
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I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
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I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
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I washed mud off of mud.
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Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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