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I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
Lines
Funny
Potluck
White
Cake
Made
Chocolate
Stood
Line
Took
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I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
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When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
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If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them
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I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
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When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
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Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
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I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
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