Quote

I have a fax machine with fax waiting.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Fax
Machine
Machines
Humor
Waiting
Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Steven Wright
Image
George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
Steven Wright
Image
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
Steven Wright
Image
Day One: Still tired from the move.
Steven Wright
Image
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright
Image
I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
Steven Wright
Image
I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
Image
I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
Steven Wright
Image
Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
Steven Wright
Image
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
Image
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
Steven Wright
Image
I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.
Steven Wright
Image
Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
Image
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
Steven Wright
Image
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
Steven Wright
Image
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
Steven Wright
Image
Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
Image
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright
Image
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
Steven Wright
Image
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright