Quote

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Models
Surgeons
Musician
Cowboy
Electricians
Follow
Delighted
Deposed
Humor
Lawyers
Electrician
Tree
Depressed
Cowboys
Funny
Dry
Deranged
Doesn
Musicians
Clergymen
Lawyer
Cleaners

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Steven Wright
Image
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
Steven Wright
Image
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.
Steven Wright
Image
You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
Steven Wright
Image
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Steven Wright
Image
Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
Image
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Steven Wright
Image
So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
Steven Wright
Image
One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
Steven Wright
Image
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
Steven Wright
Image
Is 'tired old cliché' one?
Steven Wright
Image
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a want ad. light housekeeping. They said Here, change this bulb. I said I'll need some friends.
Steven Wright
Image
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
Steven Wright
Image
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Steven Wright
Image
Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
Image
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
Steven Wright
Image
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
Steven Wright
Image
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
Steven Wright