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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Models
Surgeons
Musician
Cowboy
Electricians
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Delighted
Deposed
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Lawyers
Electrician
Tree
Depressed
Cowboys
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Musicians
Clergymen
Lawyer
Cleaners
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Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
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always remember your unique, just like everone else
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
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My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
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I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
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I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
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Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
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I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
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