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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Lawyer
Cleaners
Models
Surgeons
Musician
Cowboy
Electricians
Follow
Delighted
Deposed
Humor
Lawyers
Electrician
Tree
Depressed
Cowboys
Funny
Dry
Deranged
Doesn
Musicians
Clergymen

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When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
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I had amnesia once or twice.
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I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
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You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.
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Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
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I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
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I washed mud off of mud.
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If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them
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Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
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My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
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All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
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What a nice night for an evening.
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One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
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When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
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For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
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