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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Lawyer
Cleaners
Models
Surgeons
Musician
Cowboy
Electricians
Follow
Delighted
Deposed
Humor
Lawyers
Electrician
Tree
Depressed
Cowboys
Funny
Dry
Deranged
Doesn
Musicians
Clergymen

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I had amnesia once or twice.
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I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
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When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
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If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
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I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it
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Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
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The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
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I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
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My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
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I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
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In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
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