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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
People
Poles
Holland
Poland
Holes
Aren
Humor
Called

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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
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Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
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When I was on TV in the '80s, I wasn't thinking, 'There's a 10-year-old kid watching this and in 15 years, he's gonna be doing stuff that was influenced by me.' I was trying to get my five minutes together. So now that those people are comedians and they're influenced by me - it's bizarre.
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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
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I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
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I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
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My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
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I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
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If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
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I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
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Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
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George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
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I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
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In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.
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