Quote

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Aren
Humor
Called
Funny
People
Poles
Holland
Poland
Holes

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
Steven Wright
Image
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Steven Wright
Image
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
Steven Wright
Image
I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
Steven Wright
Image
I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
Steven Wright
Image
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Steven Wright
Image
I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
Steven Wright
Image
I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
Steven Wright
Image
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
Steven Wright
Image
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
Steven Wright
Image
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
Steven Wright
Image
I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.
Steven Wright
Image
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Steven Wright
Image
I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
Steven Wright
Image
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Steven Wright
Image
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven Wright
Image
My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
Steven Wright
Image
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Steven Wright
Image
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Steven Wright