Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Called
Funny
People
Poles
Holland
Poland
Holes
Aren
Humor
More quotes by Steven Wright
So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
Steven Wright
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Steven Wright
I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
Steven Wright
Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
Steven Wright
I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
Steven Wright
I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.
Steven Wright
Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
Steven Wright
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
Steven Wright
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Steven Wright
Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
Steven Wright
Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
Steven Wright
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
Steven Wright
I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
Steven Wright
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Steven Wright
When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
Steven Wright
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
Steven Wright
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
Steven Wright
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
Steven Wright
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Steven Wright
