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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
Use
Towels
Bath
Baths
Wash
Clean
Aren
Humor
More quotes by Steven Wright
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven Wright
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
Steven Wright
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was Quote so the last thing I said before I died would be Unquote.
Steven Wright
Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.
Steven Wright
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Steven Wright
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright
Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
Steven Wright
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Steven Wright
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
Steven Wright
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.
Steven Wright
So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
Steven Wright
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Steven Wright
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
Steven Wright
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
Steven Wright
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
Steven Wright
I had my coat hangers spayed.
Steven Wright
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Steven Wright
