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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Bath
Baths
Wash
Clean
Aren
Humor
Funny
Use
Towels

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
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I saw a sign: Rest Area 25 Miles. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
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Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.
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I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
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Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
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Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
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When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
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I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
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I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
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I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
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