Quote

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Use
Towels
Bath
Baths
Wash
Clean
Aren
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I saw a want ad. light housekeeping. They said Here, change this bulb. I said I'll need some friends.
Steven Wright
Image
I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
Steven Wright
Image
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
Steven Wright
Image
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
Steven Wright
Image
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright
Image
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
Image
Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
Steven Wright
Image
When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
Steven Wright
Image
Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
Steven Wright
Image
The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, Right here, officer.
Steven Wright
Image
I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
Steven Wright
Image
I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
Steven Wright
Image
I washed mud off of mud.
Steven Wright
Image
I had my coat hangers spayed.
Steven Wright
Image
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Steven Wright
Image
I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
Steven Wright
Image
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
Image
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Steven Wright
Image
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Steven Wright