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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
Use
Towels
Bath
Baths
Wash
Clean
Aren
Humor

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Do you have any toy train schedules?
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
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You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
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My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
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What do batteries run on?
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A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
Steven Wright
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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
Steven Wright
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I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
Steven Wright
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Steven Wright
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I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.
Steven Wright
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Steven Wright
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I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
Steven Wright
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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Steven Wright
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
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The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is.
Steven Wright
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
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I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.
Steven Wright