Quote

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Real
Liquid
Juice
Contains
Ingredients
Artificial
Mostly
Humor
Lemon
Funny
Lemons

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When I was on TV in the '80s, I wasn't thinking, 'There's a 10-year-old kid watching this and in 15 years, he's gonna be doing stuff that was influenced by me.' I was trying to get my five minutes together. So now that those people are comedians and they're influenced by me - it's bizarre.
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
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always remember your unique, just like everone else
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Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
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