Quote

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Artificial
Mostly
Humor
Lemon
Funny
Lemons
Real
Liquid
Juice
Contains
Ingredients

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I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
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I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.
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I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
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I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
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Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
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I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
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I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
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I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
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