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Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Door
Doors
Humor
Open
Funny
Ajar
Jars

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I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
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I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
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I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops
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If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
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Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
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When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
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I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
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I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
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I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
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It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
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I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
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Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
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In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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