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Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Jars
Door
Doors
Humor
Open
Funny
Ajar

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I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
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So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
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I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
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Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
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Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
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I had my coat hangers spayed.
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I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.
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Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
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Do you have any toy train schedules?
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
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I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
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Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
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Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
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I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
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