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Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
Ajar
Jars
Door
Doors
Humor
Open

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If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
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Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
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People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
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Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
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When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
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Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
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Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
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Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
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Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
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Do you have any toy train schedules?
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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
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I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
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Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
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The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, Right here, officer.
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To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.
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Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
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I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
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